Luke Erickson Neal

I have had a lot of questions about Luke's birth circumstances, so I decided to post it here on the ol' blog.  I started to write it for you guys, and then I ended up writing it for myself, so it is lengthy and probably a little bit too honest. And a warning to men readers: ** lady child-birthing talk contained here.

I had been having contractions for about 4 months. So, when I started having harder contractions the night before I was scheduled to have a c-section, I kind of ignored them.  (When I went into labor with Sam, I ignored those contractions also. If I were ever having another baby, (if) I would hope that I would have learned my lesson about contractions meaning labor...) So, I went to bed and woke up about 10 pm not being able to sleep through the contractions.  I stayed awake for several hours and then tried sleep again. Around 2:30 am I called my Dr. because I had started bleeding in addition the hard contractions. He (of course) told me to get to the hospital. So, since we were scheduled for c-section at 9 am, our bags were packed and were ready to go. Or so I thought as I was sitting in the passenger seat of Jared's car waiting for him to come out to the car! I went back into the house to find him making a snack in the kitchen. He said something along the lines of he didn't know how long this was going to take and he didn't know how long it would be until he was going to get to eat, bless his heart. I then proceeded to let him know that if he didn't get out to the car now I was going to. Freak. Out.(!)
We arrived at the hospital around 3 am. My doctor wanted to try and put off labor until my scheduled 9 am c-section. They gave me a shot of Tributilan to slow my labor. My doctor was tired, bless his heart, too! Around 5am, my contractions came back in full force again. I was 100% effaced but not dilated at all because of the baby being breech. (Gracie and Sam were both breech as well...I thought it had to do with a septum in my uterus that I had surgically removed a couple years ago hoping to prevent complications, but upon further inspection during surgery, my doctor let me know that my uterus is severely bicornate (heart shaped)). They decided to do the c-section at 7:00 am.
During all of this, I was feeling extremely uneasy. As I had been for the 2 weeks prior. I couldn't sleep at night. My doctor gave me a prescription for Ambien, which I never took, because that was giving me anxiety as well. I had lost weight during my last few weeks of pregnancy, which is extremely unnatural for me. Also, I was preoccupied with the idea of having a stillborn baby.  As I was heading to surgery, I was in full panic mode. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I had had 2 previous c-sections, one of which was emergency and I had never felt this much anxiety before.  As they started my spinal, I started to feel like I was going to pass out (which I have been known to do, I have extremely low blood pressure and combined with a night of no sleep and constant painful contractions on top of fasting for my surgery was a super bad combination). As they started my surgery, I felt a huge sense of dread hanging over my head. Plain and simple, I was scared.
When they pulled Luke out, I heard the panic in my Doctor's voice as he yelled for the nurse to "Take him!" The table where the nurses were to put the baby after birth was right in my view. My baby was not crying and I could see that he was not moving. His color looked all wrong. I felt that my fear of having a stillborn baby were coming true. The nurses were rushing around seeming flustered and panicked. All except for one nurse, Lorraine, who I later found out was a nurse practitioner. She grabbed the oxygen and started working on my baby. I could tell that she was not going to give up until he was breathing. I love her. She saved my baby. He did not breathe or have a heartbeat for 2 minutes. The longest 2 minutes of my life.  Before they whisked him off to the NICU, Lorraine held him by my head for a few seconds and let me know that my baby's hand was not normal. He was missing 2 fingers on his right hand. I did not care. All I cared about was that he was alive.
Jared went off with the baby to the NICU and I went into recovery. My doctor let Jared know some of the problems that he saw. He said that my placenta was partially calcified, which meant that the baby was probably not getting proper nutrients and had been losing weight for the last week or so. (which explains why I wasn't gaining any).  The baby had meconium in his lungs which probably occurred because he was stressed from labor. Also, I had had a dip in blood pressure right before the surgery, which could also have affected the baby.
I was not able to see the baby until 3pm that day, when I was able to get into a wheel chair. He was hooked up to every contraption imaginable. He was under a heat lamp, he was hooked up to oxygen, he had a feeding tube in his mouth, he was hooked up to an IV. He was just laying there lifeless. He was not doing well. The neonatologist feared brain damage from the lack of oxygen. We sent out emails and texts to friends and family asking them to pray for our baby.
Jared's mom, Rosemarie, was with Gracie and Sam. Gracie had excitedly planned to get out of school early that day to come to the hospital. She was set on being the first one to see him. In the days previous, she had quizzed me about who might come to the hospital and when they would be there in an attempt to ensure that she would be the first to meet him. She was heartbroken when she arrived at the hospital and was not able to meet her brother. She cried for a while, and then drew some pictures of faces on the cervical dilation chart in my room :)

The next morning, the neo-natologist came in to see the baby, intending to send him to Children's Hospital. However, over night, he had made some progress and she felt that he would not have to be moved. She told me that I could attempt nursing that night. He did so well, for his first try. Much better than I expected.  Maybe because with Sam being born 7 weeks early, that was our biggest challenge with him, feedings. Developmentally, Sam was not where he needed to be to even know how to suck yet. But with this baby being full term, he was ready to suck.
This day was also the day we named him. You may have noticed that the name we chose was not anything that was on our list. This baby was special. (well, all babies are special). But, none of the names seemed to fit him given the circumstances, and Luke just seemed really right for him. Strong, sweet, classic and a little bit cowboy. :) And of course my little star-wars obsessed Sam was right on board with our choice. The middle name, Erickson, is after my loving family. I don't know if many of you know, but the Erickson family was my foster family for a large part of my life. They were willing to let me into their family when I truly needed someone.  When you hear me talking about my "family", this is who I mean. My mom, Marcia just left yesterday after being here for 10 days to help with the baby. They still take care of me to this day.
Anyways, each time we would go in to the NICU to see our sweet baby, he seemed to be improving. He was gradually meeting the expectations that he needed to achieve to be able to go home with us. We were so happy. Jared and I later quietly admitted to each other that, while in the OR, we both feared that he would not make it.
The next day they removed his oxygen to test to see if he could breathe room air. He did great. He started to regulate his body temperature. He started to eat every 3 hours. He started to be more alert and cry a bit here and there. I've never wanted so badly for a baby to cry.
Finally, on Sunday evening (I had gone in early morning wednesday) he was ready to go home with us. We were excited but scared. While he was in the NICU, he was hooked up to countless monitors letting us know if anything at all was not right. I was scared to leave those monitors behind.
The night we brought him home, our kids were anxiously awaiting our arrival, as they had not yet met their new baby brother. Gracie cried. Sam kissed his head. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life, to have my family all together, complete, safe and healthy.
Gracie and Sam continue to be preoccupied with Luke's hand. And to be honest, it is something that I try to not think about, but when I let my mind go there, I am heartbroken thinking of the difficulties he will face. While at the same time, I'm so thankful for him and thankful for his thumb. :) He has two fingers and a thumb, which will make it possible for him to do so much more than if he had just had 3 fingers and no thumb. He has an appointment for an Orthopedic consult next week and we will know more then. He's also got appointments for early intervention therapy for his hand coming up soon.


Luke has been home with us for 2 weeks now. He is eating well and is growing, so we are happy. When I think about his birth, I wonder how one event can be the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me.  We love him so much and feel so extremely blessed and honored that he has joined our family.
Hopefully, this all makes sense and I hope I have answered everyone's questions . If I haven't, post a comment and I will answer it.